Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #0:
What the Nagus wants, we acquire.
-- Star Trek Online (video game)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #1:
Once you have their money, you never give it back.
-- The Nagus (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #2:
The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
-- The 34th Rule (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #2:
Money is everything.
-- The Last Tree on Ferenginar: A Ferengi Fable From the Future (DS9 short
story)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #3:
Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
-- The Maquis, Part II (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #4:
Sedition and treason are always profitable.
-- Star Trek Online (video game)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #5:
Always exaggerate your estimates.
-- Cold Fusion (SCE novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #6:
Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
-- The Nagus (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #7:
Keep your ears open.
-- In the Hands of the Prophets (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #8:
Small print leads to large risk.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #9:
Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
-- The Storyteller (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #10:
Greed is eternal.
-- Prophet Motive (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #13:
Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
-- Legends of the Ferengi (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #14:
Sometimes the quickest way to find profits is to let them find you.
-- Fortune of War (TTN novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #15:
Dead men close no deals.
-- Demons of Air and Darkness (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #16:
A deal is a deal - until a better one comes along.
-- Melora (DS9 episode), The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #17:
A contract is a contract is a contract - but only between Ferengi.
-- Body Parts (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #18:
A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
-- Heart of Stone (DS9 episode), Ferengi Love Songs (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #19:
Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
-- Legends of the Ferengi (DS9 novel), The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9
reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #20:
He who dives under the table today lives to profit tomorrow.
-- Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed (DS9 novella)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #21:
Never place friendship above profit.
-- Rules of Acquisition (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #22:
A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
-- Rules of Acquisition (DS9 episode), False Profits (VOY episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #23:
Nothing is more important than your health - except for your money.
-- Acquisition (ENT episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #25:
You pay for it, it’s your idea.
-- Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed (DS9 novella)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #27:
There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
-- Legends of the Ferengi (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #29:
What's in it for me?
-- Highest Score (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #30:
Confidentiality equals profit.
-- The Badlands, Part IV (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #31:
Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother - insult something he cares about
instead.
-- The Siege (DS9 episode), Elite Force II (video game), The Ferengi Rules of
Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #33:
It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
-- Rules of Acquisition (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #34:
War is good for business.
-- Destiny (DS9 episode), The 34th Rule (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #35:
Peace is good for business.
-- Destiny (DS9 episode), The 34th Rule (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #37:
The early investor reaps the most interest.
-- Reservoir Ferengi (DS9 novella)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #39:
Don't tell customers more than they need to know.
-- Ascendance (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #40:
She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #41:
Profit is its own reward.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #43:
Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it.
-- The Buried Age (TNG novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #44:
Never confuse wisdom with luck.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #45:
Expand or die.
-- Acquisition (ENT episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #47:
Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
-- Rivals (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #48:
The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
-- Rules of Acquisition (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #52:
Never ask when you can take.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #53:
Never trust anybody taller than you.
-- Mission Gamma: Twilight (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #54:
Rate divided by time equals profit (also known as "The Velocity of Wealth").
-- Typhon Pact: Raise the Dawn (DS9/TNG novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #55:
Take joy from profit, and profit from joy.
-- Worlds of Deep Space Nine: Bajor: Fragments and Omens (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #57:
Good customers are as rare as latinum - treasure them.
-- Armageddon Game (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #58:
There is no substitute for success.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #59:
Free advice is seldom cheap.
-- Rules of Acquisition (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #60:
Keep your lies consistent.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #62:
The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
-- Rules of Acquisition (DS9 episode), Little Green Men (DS9 episode),
Business As Usual (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #63:
Work is the best therapy - at least for your employees.
-- Over a Torrent Sea (TTN novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #65:
Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #66:
Someone's always got bigger ears.
-- The Last Generation #3: What Happens Now (TNG comic)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #68:
Risk doesn't always equal reward.
-- Star Trek Online (video game)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #69:
Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
-- Balance of Power (TNG novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #74:
Knowledge equals profit.
-- Inside Man (VOY episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #75:
Home is where the heart is - but the stars are made of latinum.
-- Civil Defense (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #76:
Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your
enemies.
-- The Homecoming (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #77:
If you break it, I'll charge you for it.
-- Star Trek Online (video game)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #79:
Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #82:
The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #85:
Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #87:
Learn the customer's weaknesses, so that you can better take advantage of him.
-- Highest Score (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #88:
It ain't over till it’s over.
-- Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed (DS9 novella)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #88:
Vengeance will cost you everything.
-- The Poisoned Chalice (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #89:
Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your
profits.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #89:
[It is] better to lose some profit and live than lose all profit and die.
-- Strange New Worlds VI: Best Tools Available (DS9 short story)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #92:
There are many paths to profit.
-- Highest Score (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #94:
Females and finances don't mix.
-- Ferengi Love Songs (DS9 episode), Profit and Lace (DS9 episode), The
Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #95:
Expand or die.
-- False Profits (VOY episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #97:
Enough is never enough.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #98:
Every man has his price.
-- In the Pale Moonlight (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #98:
If you can't take it with you, don't go.
-- I, Q (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #99:
Trust is the biggest liability of all.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #100:
When it's good for business, tell the truth.
-- Ascendance (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #101:
Profit trumps emotion.
-- The Long Mirage (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #102:
Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
-- The Jem'Hadar (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #103:
Sleep can interfere with opportunity.
-- Rules of Acquisition (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #104:
Faith moves mountains - of inventory.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #106:
There is no honor in poverty.
-- Sacraments of Fire (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #108:
Hope doesn't keep the lights on.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #109:
Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
-- Rivals (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #111:
Treat people in your debt like family - exploit them.
-- Past Tense, Part I (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #112:
Never have sex with the boss' sister.
-- Playing God (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #113:
Always have sex with the boss.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #117:
You can't free a fish from water.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #121:
Everything is for sale, even friendship.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #122:
Never sleep with the bosses sister.
-- Playing God (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #123:
Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #125:
You can't make a deal if you're dead.
-- The Siege of AR-558 (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #135:
Listen to secrets, but never repeat them.
-- Ascendance (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #139:
Wives serve, brothers inherit.
-- Necessary Evil (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #141:
Only fools pay retail.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #144:
There's nothing wrong with charity - as long as it winds up in your pocket.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #147:
People love the bartender.
-- Fearful Symmetry (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #151:
Even when you're a customer, sell yourself.
-- The Long Mirage (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #153:
Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
-- Deep Space Mine (DS9 comic)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #162:
Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book), Harbinger (DS9
video game)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #168:
Whisper your way to success.
-- Treachery, Faith, and the Great River (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #177:
Know your enemies, but do business with them always.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #181:
Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #183:
When life hands you ungaberries, make detergent.
-- Hollow Men (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #184:
A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
-- Balance of Power (TNG novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #188:
Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
-- Star Trek Online (video game)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #189:
Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #190:
Hear all, trust nothing.
-- Call to Arms (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #192:
Never cheat a Klingon - unless you're sure you can get away with it.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #193:
Trouble comes in threes.
-- Star Trek Online (video game)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #193:
It's never too late to fire the staff.
-- Cathedral (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #194:
It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in
your door.
-- Whispers (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #199:
Location, location, location.
-- The Soul Key (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #200:
A Ferengi chooses no side but his own.
-- Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed (DS9 novella)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #202:
The justification for profit is profit.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #203:
New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but
sometimes they bite back.
-- Little Green Men (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #208:
Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
-- Ferengi Love Songs (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #211:
Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on
them.
-- Bar Association (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #212:
A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.
-- Shattered (VOY episode), Star Trek Online (video game)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #214:
Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
-- The Maquis, Part I (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #216:
Never gamble with a telepath.
-- The Laertian Gamble (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #217:
You can't free a fish from water.
-- Past Tense, Part I (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #218:
Always know what you're buying.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #218:
Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.
-- Baby on Board (DS9 comic)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #219:
Possession is eleven-tenths of the law.
-- Balance of Power (TNG novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #223:
Beware the man who doesn't take time for oo-mox.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #227:
If that's what's written, then that's what's written.
-- Favor the Bold (DS9 episode), Star Trek Online (video game)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #229:
Latinum lasts longer than lust.
-- Ferengi Love Songs (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #235:
Duck - death is tall.
-- Mission Gamma: Twilight (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #236:
You can't buy fate.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #239:
Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
-- Body Parts (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #240:
Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.
-- Bar Association (DS9 episode), Star Trek Online (video game)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #242:
More is good, all is better.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #243:
Always leave yourself an out.
-- Sacraments of Fire (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #248:
The definition of insanity is trying the same failed scheme and expecting
different results.
-- Department of Temporal Investigations: Shield of the Gods (DS9 novella)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #255:
A wife is luxury, a smart accountant a necessity.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #261:
A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #263:
Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
-- Bar Association (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #266:
When in doubt, lie.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #267:
If you believe it, they believe it.
-- Taking Wing (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #272:
Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.
-- The Abandoned (DS9 episode), Star Trek Online (video game)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #280:
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
-- Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed (DS9 novella)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #284:
Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
-- The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #285:
No good deed ever goes unpunished.
-- The Collaborator (DS9 episode), The Sound of Her Voice (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #286 (inofficial):
When Morn leaves, it's all over.
-- The House of Quark (DS9 Episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #287:
Always get somebody else to do the lifting.
-- N-Vector (DS9 comic)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #288:
Never get into anything that you can't get out of.
-- N-Vector (DS9 comic)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #289:
A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.
-- Acquisition (ENT episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #290:
An angry man is an enemy, and a satisfied man is an ally.
-- Antimatter (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #291:
The less employees know about the cash flow, the smaller the share they can
demand.
-- Betrayal (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #292:
Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.
-- Elite Force II (video game)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #293:
The more time they take deciding, the more money they will spend.
-- Stowaways (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #294:
A bargain usually isn't.
-- The Pet (DS9 novel)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #299:
Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's
easier to exploit them the next time.
-- False Profits (VOY episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #431:
When the shooting starts, let the mercenaries handle it.
-- Star Trek Online (video game)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition (inofficial):
Exploitation begins at home.
-- False Profits (VOY episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition (inofficial, aka "The Unwritten Rule"):
When no appropriate rule applies, make one up.
-- False Profits (VOY episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition (inofficial):
When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits, kill the messenger.
-- False Profits (VOY episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition (inofficial):
Money is money, but females are better.
-- Life Support (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition (inofficial):
Why ask, when you can take?
-- Babel (DS9 episode)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition (inofficial):
Good things come in small packages.
-- Move Along Home (DS9)
%
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition (inofficial):
A distracted policeman is an opportunity.
-- The Sound of Her Voice (DS9 episode)
%
